Things to Look Out for in a Therapist

Finding the right therapist feels nearly impossible these days, especially with the pandemic creating a mental health crisis. More and more people are seeking therapy, and more and more therapists are burning out. But this doesn't mean you should settle when looking for a therapist. Taking the time to look for someone who can help you with your mental health is both admirable and important. The first step is reaching out. The next step is vetting.

I've had at least 10 therapists in the last 12 years, and while I didn't have a say in choosing most of them, I do know what helped and what made me uncomfortable. I've spent the last year and a half searching for the right therapist for me as an adult, and I've compiled a list of the 10 red flags and 10 green flags you should watch out for in a therapist.

Red Flags:

1. They Judge You

2. They're Bossy and Manipulative

3. They Treat You Like a Project or a Study

4. They Show a Lack of Empathy

5. They Try to Act Like a Friend

6. They Don't Listen to You

7. They Do Most of the Talking

8. They Act Like a Motivational Speaker

9. They Make False Promises and Seem Over-Confident

10. They Don't Match Your Communication or Learning Style

---

Green Flags:

Let's end this on a positive note with some green flags to look out for in a potential therapist:

1. They Guide You

2. They Make Therapy About You

3. They Get to Know You as a Person

4. They Help You Decompress at the End of Session

5. They Vibe Well with You

6. They Understand Your Culture and Beliefs

7. They're Accommodating

8. Their Office is Comfortable for You

9. They Give You the Concrete Help You Ask for

10. They Give You an Out

---

I wrote this article because I know how hard it is to find a good therapist. If you're uncomfortable with your current therapist, but you're not sure if you're overreacting or reading too much into things, I hope these two lists will empower you to drop the wrong therapist and look for the right one because therapy should be about you and your needs, and you deserve to get the help you need.